Changing The Bed - Jenny Hamon

I asked him to help me change the bed
But now I wish I’d never said
I regret asking because I’ve found
It’s turned out to be a battle ground

The fitted sheet was passed between
And laid out on the bed so clean
He pulled too much to fit his on
So I was left with almost none

When I complained about lack of sheet
He said I should have been more fleet
He got his on the bed alright
I’ve not enough, so now a fight!

And now the duvet to shove in
Into the cover nice and clean
I’ve got mine in the corners tight
But now he shakes it with all his might

The orifice is fastened up
And from my hand the duvet’s plucked
It’s shaken firmly up and down
And spread out on my clean night gown

His side is smoothed and patted down
While I stand there with a frown
On my side the duvet’s in a heap
I really don’t think I will sleep

My only answer is to wait
To rectify my nocturnal fate
I’ll strip the bed and start again
Even though he thinks he’s not to blame!

Jenny Hamon