Cell By Date - Lyndon Queripel

There was a strange fellow called Queripel
Whose driving was really so terrible
When a police car gave chase
He thought it was a race
Now he’s driving up the walls of a prison cell.

Lyndon Queripel


Image : Pixabay - diegoparra

Limerick for Paddy - Guernsey Poets

there was a young poet from Guernsey
who wrote reams and reams of verse he
said "as it's Paddy's day
I've put a limerick away"
then forgot it through Guinness and whiskey

Guernsey Poets

The “Peter” Limericks - Ros Willard

There was a philander, Peter,
whose girlfriends were Joan, Pam and Rita.
His wife got annoyed,
a hit man employed,
now Peter’s no longer a cheater.

***

In a draughty stone castle Sir Peter
could not find so much as one heater,
so to keep out the cold
in a building so old
he drank Plymouth Gin by the litre.

***

There was a young cannibal, Peter,
who married a girl called Conchita.
He loved her big eyes,
her lips and firm thighs.
In fact, it was hard not to eat ‘er.

Ros Willard

Space Face - Lyndon Queripel

There was a one eyed creature from space
Who fell to Earth from grace
It felt a shiver of terror
When it looked in a mirror
because it had never seen it’s own face

Lyndon Queripel

Radio Active - Lyndon Queripel

There once was a DJ called Freak
Whose programme was quite unique
He’d claim “ In this game
They all sound the same”
And played records backwards each week.

Lyndon Queripel

Limerick on Jock - John Buchanan

The once was a young man called Jock,
whose girlfriend liked dressing in croc,
he went to zoo,
after having a few,
now his girlfriend’s going out with his doc.

John Buchanan

Limerick on Annie - John Buchanan

There once was a woman called Annie
Who looked a bit of a granny
She picked up a sailor
Who thought he might nail her
But was shocked to discover she’s a tranny.

John Buchanan

Two Limericks on the Sea - Jenny Woods

The Sea # 1

Oh! The Ocean, the Sea, et la Mer,
wide ranging tsunamis so rare.
vast expanses with white horse waves,
calm waters that wash into caves,
men in boats of all sizes; 'Take care'.


The Sea # 2

The waters that crash on the rocks
lap silently o're shoes and socks.
they pull back the pebbles and sand
leaving seaweeds the length of the strand,
and detritus in harbours and docks.

Jenny Woods