I don’t want grub served on a slate,
a bucket or a block of wood.
This sort of nonsense tends to grate.
It’s simply gimmickry with food.
Just serve the meal with less display
and please, oh please don’t cry Good choice!
or, with a flourish, bow and say
Enjoy it! in a stupid voice.
Don’t plunge in while I chat with friends,
just wait, as proper waiters do.
Inept intrusiveness offends:
no need to stick to us like glue.
You’ve overcharged us for the wine:
that’s greedy, it impairs the taste.
The main course, when it came, was fine,
the pud was served with too much haste
so you could push us out the door
to rush some other punters through
production-line style, more and more,
a hungry, never-ending queue.
I’ll go on Trip Advisor to
review your fancy restaurant
that I don’t fancy much, it’s true,
and come back, no, I surely shan’t.
Egon Rongway
