Diet Chocolate - V. Bean

Monday morning, it’s chocolate time
mustn’t forget the washing, on the line
Monday lunchtime, chocolate again
just a few squares, well, make it ten
Tuesday morning, . . chocolate . .yes
Tuesday lunchtime fish, no chocolate
Wednesday comes, I’ll have some chocolate
Teatime now. .oh look, we’ve got chocolate
Wednesday night, I had a dream about, . . .chocolate
Thursday lunchtime, we ran out of food,
but luckily, we found some chocolate.
Friday morning, a mouse in the kitchen
the little bugger was eating our chocolate
Friday evening, we caught the mouse,
let’s eat the mouse that ate our chocolate.
Saturday, fell asleep, eating my chocolate
had to wash my clothes, the chocolate melted
Sunday morning, no chocolate, on a fast . .
Sunday lunchtime, fasted 3 hours, now, . .
chocolate, at last.

V. Bean

The Winter Jumper - V. Bean

My special job is to warm up somebody
they sometimes pull me, often stretch me
I swing on the line, at clothes-hanging time
and if it starts to rain, they come and fetch me.

I don’t like getting wet, I want to hide
my favourite spot, the tumble dryer
so snug and warm, when I’m inside
I love it when they turn it higher.

After I’m worn for a while, it’s a woolen-wash
then pegged up, to hang, dodging snow and rain
food gets spilt on me, they really don’t care
and stink! . . it’s that awful perfume, again.

Ooh, look, I’m in for a quick-wash
now I’m hanging out, in a Winter moon
I never really feel the cold of night
‘cos I’m a three-ply, cable-knit cocoon.

I await my owner’s comfy hands,
to unpeg me, carefully fold me, then
back in my big drawer, to rest, until
they decide to put me on, again.

I’m back on the line again, soon
but not next to the knickers and bras
they all seem to go together
but, me, I’m only Granpa’s.

V. Bean