I must admit I’ve hardly slept
Waiting for the latest dirt on Johnny Depp
Another day of lurid pages
Filled with tales of coke-fuelled rages
Is there a drug he didn’t do
Well, ketamine - he denies that too
Love and hate together can go
Sometimes it takes two to tango
For a prank the missus said
That she defecated in the bed
How did things get that sick
Was she bored of his pirate schtick?
The lawyers rub their hands in glee
Every day means a bigger fee
His legacy can’t be a major factor
Let's admit he's not a great actor
Forever now he’ll look back in anger
At these memories - preserved in Amber
Donald Keyman
Image: ©Anders L. Damgaard
