Festive Birds - Tony Gardner

Christmas is a-coming
The turkey's in a fright
Dreaming of a butcher
With a hatchet in the night
I don't begrudge you people
Your festive meal, he said
But I don't see why I should die
You could have duck instead

Christmas is upon us
And the ducks are full of fear
To hear the words the turkey spoke
At that dreadful time of year
When every bird was worried
And the ducks all wondered why
The people don't want chicken
It's so easier to fry

Christmas Day is fast approaching
And the chickens don't feel bright
Running wild around and clucking
And afraid to roost at night
They feel that they're hard done by
And they loudly crow and squawk
It isn't fair on poultry
Why can't they just eat pork

Then the hogs there in the pig sty
Set up an awful squeal
We're cooked too much already
Find some other Christmas meal
Something nice like T-Bone steak
Or ox tongue soup might do
For cattle meat's more tasty
And much easier to chew

But the roaring from the bull pen
Seemed to loudly disagree
And it wouldn't do to argue
With a beast as big as he
He snorted then he muttered
I don't see what there's to say
Just go for the tradition
Of a turkey, Christmas day.

Christmas is a-coming
The turkey's in a fright
Dreaming of a butcher
With a hatchet in the night.....

Tony Gardner