The Perelle Pullers - Tony Gardner

Mine host, Mick Finn, of the Perelle Inn
Had a word with me one night.
We were downing gin that he'd just got in
When he says all serious-like;
Now the shows are near, and I'd like this year
To get the pub esteem
So we'll organise a few of the guys
And we'll get up a Tug of War team.
We can ask Bill Snell, and Jack Queripel
We'll ask the regular boys.
There's Fred Le Cras, and his brother-in-law
It's something they'll all enjoy.
You and I can pull, and that bloke named 'Bull'
Could do as the Anchor Man.
Young Jim La Moye and the Gallienne boy
They'll help us if they can.

Training time was drawn for that Sunday morn
We were eager to take the strain
But we all got tight on Saturday night
And just two were fit to train.
So on Monday night in the evening light
We gathered around to train
It wasn't much fun when we went for a run
And Lloyd said "Never again !"
But in a few weeks we were smart and sleek
And our confidence was high
That we would pick up the 'West Show' Cup
As easy as eating pie.
Well, the big day came, our date with fame
We looked great in our brand new kit
Then Bob Le Feuvre said, "To calm our nerves
Let's pop in the Beer Tent quick."

Let me tell you all that was our downfall
We were there at chuckout time
And we never saw the Tug of War
We missed our chance to shine.
The best laid plans of mouse and man
And the host of the Perelle Inn
Were blown sky high by a beer on the sly
And a fondness for the gin.

Tony Gardner