It Doesn’t Count at Christmas - Diane Scantlebury

Don’t know about the goose
But I’m getting fat,
A thick rubber ring
Around the middle
Resistant to exercise or effort,
The spread that comes
With middle age,
One more sherry?
Another mince pie?
Continue to indulge
It makes no difference,
The midline shift continues
No matter what excuse,
Breathe in and hope
The sequins will disguise,
Distract the eye from the little black dress
That now fits like a sausage skin,
Mmm, but those sausage rolls look tempting
Surely one or two won’t harm,
Another slice of festive cake?
Go on then,
Not going to feel guilty
It’s Christmas so it doesn’t count!

Diane Scantlebury