Leg Of Lamb - J. Archer Avary

all I wanted
was to win
the leg of lamb
at the Saturday
meat draw
I rushed to the pub
after work
bought two strips
from the ticket man
and listened
for my numbers

the leg of lamb is
always the first to go
then the beef joint
then the gammon
then the steaks
then the whole chicken
with sausages
until the only thing left
is a package of Chinese
chicken drumsticks
then it disappears
and I feel like a loser

all I wanted
was to win the
leg of lamb
to win something
anything
so I went to the pub
next door
where numbers
are now on sale
for the next meat draw

J. Archer Avary

What a pity, about Aunt Kitty - Tony Bradley

Aunt Kitty used to stay with us,
for a fortnight, once a year
after 2 weeks of her Scrabble
we’d had enough, of the crafty old dear.

She’d bring her own Scrabble set with her
and with it, her own set of rules
but every game, she’d move the goalposts
and make us all look like fools.

She liked to play for money, not a lot
we’d start maybe with a pound in the kitty
but she’d win, almost every game
raking in the quids, saying "what a pity."

Last year, sadly, her eyesight failed
so no more Scrabble, for poor Aunt Kitty
Scrabble was her life, so she passed away
we miss her shenanikins, and "what a pity."

Tony Bradley

Gamblin' Man - Ian Duquemin

My father was a gamblin' man
A loser all his life
He sacrificed his children
Made a wreckage of his wife
Many men would make a stand
Accuse him of a cheat
But he was more dishonest
And a master of deceit
He'd gather up the money
It was time for him to leave
Concealed were the aces
He had hidden up his sleeve

My daddy was a drinkin' man
The money served him well
Every night intoxicated
Always raising hell
He drank his pockets empty
Not a penny to his name
And come this time tomorrow
It'll be the same again
He'll drink away the evening
On the money that he wins
Thinking that the alcohol
Will drown away his sins

My father didn't go to church
He'd never sung a hymn
He often said that Jesus Christ
Had turned his back on him
And when he saw his shadow
That was crawling on the ground
He swore it was the devil
Who was always hanging round
And so he'd throw another dice
To fill an empty purse
The money spent, another bar
To make him feel worse

My daddy was a gamblin' man
A drinker all his life
He let his children suffer
Made a widow of his wife
And when he died, a funeral
Of course the devil came
To stand beside the headstone
Cast a shadow on his name
But that was many years ago
And this story's at an end
So I'll play another poker hand
And drink to you my friend

Ian Duquemin

Snowy Tops - Diane Scantlebury

We people with our snowy tops
Androgynous in dress,
We hunt in pairs,
We grunt and grumble
About today’s youth,
Refuse to disguise or dye
Our snowy white hair,

We people with our snowy tops
We’ve had our time,
We’ve had the best,
Released the equity from our homes
Smug and secure,
We’ve feathered our nests,

We people with our snowy tops
We go on cruises,
We trawl the world,
Draw our pensions as we relax
On sunnier shores,
While the youth we berate
Grow unhealthy and poor,

We people with our snowy tops
We’ve had our fun,
Drained the world’s resources
Until there’s almost none,
We’ve climbed up our ladders
And behind us shut the door,
Lapped up all the cream
Now there’s no more.

Diane Scantlebury

Lucky - Edgar Allan Poet

They don’t come luckier than me:
I’ve not nine lives, I’ve ninety-nine.
In street-fights (I’ve had two or three)
or knife-fights, victory’s been mine.
I keep a trusty rabbit’s foot
in the breast-pocket of my suit.

When I see magpies, I see four.
Black cats, for luck, curl round my heels.
I find one coin then I find more.
Thrice blessed with luck is how it feels.
I ride in carriages by day,
go to my club and rarely pay.

But England’s far too tame for me
so to America I’ll sail.
In luxury, I’ll put to sea
on a new liner, massive scale,
de-luxe, designed to get there quick.
They’ve named the vessel, Titanic.

Edgar Allan Poet

Humpty Dumpty - Sally Forth

He never had much luck with pets
but spent a fortune at the vets
to almost rid his cat of fleas
before it perished from disease.

He never had much luck in love:
would go to nightclubs, push and shove
to get close to his heart’s desire,
then find a man in girl’s attire.

He never had much luck at all
and tumbled one day from a wall.
He never was the same again
despite King’s Horses and King’s Men.

Sally Forth