Ex-Pats - Oscar Milde

We buy the Telegraph each day
although, each day, it’s one day late
but we don’t mind, we keep abreast
with all things English anyway
and try our best to recreate
our English life. 
This foreign nest 
may offer sunshine, vino and no rain
but Lord, these foreign types can be a pain. 

We bought and now, alas, we’re stuck:
house values down, pensions undone,
so we just have to grin and bear
although we, daily, curse our luck.
We thought life here would be such fun
with friends galore 
but it’s a snare 
with ruddy Spaniards everywhere, 
bad sanitation, mozzies and sun burn.

They’re volatile, and what is more,
they hardly know a blessed word
of English when we try to shop.
It really is a dreadful bore.
They all act dumb. It’s quite absurd,
and yet the blighters talk non-stop
among themselves. 
Heads high, we keep our calm
but yearn for lovely Cheltenham.

Oscar Milde

Boris Brontosaurus - Oscar Milde

Boris, Boris, Brontosaurus,
crashing blindly through the forest,
hair askew, complexion pinked,
destination indistinct,
doesn’t know that he’s extinct.

Oscar Milde

Brexit - Donald Keyman

The worm has turned on Project Fear
to smash the European idea
but now it's "gone Pete Tong"
they're telling us the vote was wrong

and fearful now some people agree
that they voted out - but can see
that a beer in the Costa del Sol
will cost them more, wtf, lol

The misled voted to be pure
but the borders won't be more secure
the EU monster is still there
wounded slightly in its lair

Cameron's made us look like fools
we can't escape free movement rules
so many lies were told on both sides
in the end our brains were fried

The PM trowelled on the sincerity
"Let me be clear" he stated ominously
"a careless vote in Clacton-on-Sea
could easily spark off World War Three"

Michael and Boris, his hair in a muss
seemed surprised that they hadn't lost
"50 million quid a day - it wasn't us
who wrote that on the campaign bus"

Jeremy found the task too Sisyphean
he never wanted to be European
but his party forced him to pretend
that Jean-Claude Juncker was his friend

Nigel, Nigel where to start?
welcome as an unwanted fart
for laughing in the EU's faces
they turned and said he was a racist

Now Nicola looks to seize the chance
to renew the old alliance with France
it seems that poor "Wee Burney"
is determined to continue on her journey

So consider the massive irony
people want to come here to be free
to join in with a democracy
that won't let them cross the sea

Donald Keyman

Price of Democracy - Diane Scantlebury

The vocal majority angry and aggrieved,
Voted with their feet
And wanted to leave,
Tired of the ‘haves’ patronisation and hypocrisy,
They took back the power
This was the price of democracy,

Persuaded by tactics
Of the lowest denomination,
Fear and xenophobia
Divided a nation,
Promises made, promises broken,
Fragmented Britain
The people have spoken!

Diane Scantlebury

House Of Cards - Richard Fleming

A house of cards is bound to fall:
it’s insubstantial after all,
and so it shall

The UK card’s the first to go:
that will disturb the status quo.
It must be so.

Merkel and Germany are vexed.
The Undecideds are perplexed.
Will France go next?

Richard Fleming