We buy the Telegraph each day
although, each day, it’s one day late
but we don’t mind, we keep abreast
with all things English anyway
and try our best to recreate
our English life.
This foreign nest
may offer sunshine, vino and no rain
but Lord, these foreign types can be a pain.
We bought and now, alas, we’re stuck:
house values down, pensions undone,
so we just have to grin and bear
although we, daily, curse our luck.
We thought life here would be such fun
with friends galore
but it’s a snare
with ruddy Spaniards everywhere,
bad sanitation, mozzies and sun burn.
They’re volatile, and what is more,
they hardly know a blessed word
of English when we try to shop.
It really is a dreadful bore.
They all act dumb. It’s quite absurd,
and yet the blighters talk non-stop
among themselves.
Heads high, we keep our calm
but yearn for lovely Cheltenham.
Oscar Milde
