I sit and admire the sweep of the bay
from the doomed old zero-star café
a mug of hot tea and a slice of cake
it's safe to eat 'cos the rating's fake
In the salty wind my eyes both swim
the view is good but the outlook grim
as the timber creaks and the plastic flaps
they carry on selling their Novichok baps
Like the dance band on the Titanic
they've been condemned by bad planning
between the rocks and a hard place
this poor treatment leaves a bitter taste
Ask yourself: are they selling poison gâche?
because this no-star rating doesn't wash!
Stephen A. Roberts